A happy loving family is dream we all have, yet for some that picture falls apart. Hopes and dreams are shattered in so many ways and often the people involved are shattered to.
So may emotions come up, anger, revenge, hurt, sadness, fear and so many more. It's a huge loss and you will move through many emotions in the process. So often people get stuck in the anger and revenge and cannot seem to move past it, in turn creating a lot of chaos and pain. Society often thinks that's the norm and people rally behind making him or her pay. What they forget is that they are making themselves pay with constant pain and drama, and so often the innocent children are caught in the crossfire.
I believe it's not the intention for parents to hurt their children, and I have made my share of mistakes in navigating this over the years. However I have learned from my children, my own actions and being part of others as the separate and co-parent successfully. I can tell you it is possible and it's so much easier, healthier and a way better way to live, when we put down the need for revenge and control and remember that was someone you once loved above all others.
Successful separation means respecting the person, not their behavior. Especially when there's kids involved. Your ex is still your child's parent which is 50% of your child. See them as the person that gave your child life, whom your child loves dearly, regardless of their behavior.
When you speak kindly of your ex, it makes you look like the good person. Find their positive traits, however small that list might be, and focus and communicate that.
Your kids will respect you so much more than if you are constantly bashing their parent and often will work against you in your relationship with them.
Honor the human that created them and you will honor them, and in turn honor yourself.
If you are looking for support navigating this, please reach out. ❤️
Rose Simard of CAIM Collaborative Resolutions is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst & Mediator and go to expert to help people negotiate their divorce in the most healthy way and for a fraction of the price they would pay lawyers.
If this is a season that you are walking through, this was a game changer for me,
"a divorce isn't a failure, it's just an ending of a relationship, and after endings come new beginnings"
Reach out to Rose to support your new beginning at rose@caimdivorce.ca and to learn more visit https://caimdivorce.ca/home
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